An Ode to Romney

17 Oct

You make me feel uncomfortable.
And this is coming from the girl who feels perfectly comfortable
doing a velociraptor impression
through Time’s Square.
Oh, Romney.
The way you smirk sometimes gives me the willies.
The “heebie-jeebies,” if you will.
When you change the subject to talk about
what YOU want to talk about,
I am somehow reminded of every
single condescending professor,
and high school girl who ever
changed the subject
in order to talk about
what they wanted to talk about.
Oh, Romney.
How I long for you to stop smirking like that.
You look like you’re staring at
the most delicious and enticing
steak you’ve ever not been given-
staring longingly across the restaurant
at the steaming, juicy steak
that you are just longing to possess
in the depths of your jaws.
I feel uncomfortable writing this about you.
It makes me feel strange.
You make me feel funny.
Not ha-ha funny.
But uncomfortable funny.


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