On The Road Again

2 Oct

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Day 22 of the 90 in 90 blog challenge.

Well, dear readers, I am currently typing this from the road. I discovered that WordPress.com has a smart phone app, and that basically changed my life.

SO! I am on MYY WAYYY (“Violet” reference anyone? Okay…) to ORLANDOOOOO (“Book of Mormon” reference? Anyone???). Alright alright, enough with the musical theatre references. Anyway- we are somewhere in South Carolina right now. This trip has been quite uneventful. The picture at the top of this post is basically what I’ve been looking at for the past six hours. I have so much stuff piled in Dory that when we go over bumps she scrapes her steamy undercarriage, but other than that we have had no big disasters… knock on wood. The most interesting thing to happen thus far was passing a place called “Tudor’s Biscuit World” which I though sounded pretty regal and ridiculous.

I thought my audition for Disney was on Friday, but I double checked their website and now I’m auditioning on Thursday. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m scared they won’t need- or even worse, want- me. But I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. If I don’t get cast, maybe it’s because God has a different plan for me. Maybe I need to find a job that can incorporate my love of writing…

Can someone just… Pay me to blog? Or write? Please? Anyone? Hello? Hello out there… If you’re a professional editor or person of literary merit, could you please contact me and pay me money to do what I love to do? Okay. Great. Thanks. Glad this was so easy for both of us.

So my mom is really sick right now with one seriously nasty head cold. She gets these sudden attacks where she can’t see anything because her eyes are watering so much. We’ve tried everything. DayQuil, allergy medicine, nose spray, and constant nose blowing. Nothing helps. EXCEPT… For eating. That’s right. Eating. Something about the constant swallowing or something, but that is the only thing that keeps her eyes from watering. So, as you can imagine, Momma Barry is SO sick of eating food, and I am SO sick of getting it out of bags for her…

Mom: Carolyn I gotta have something right now, Im starting to go downhill.
Me: (sighing) Okay well… What do you want? Another thing of Rollos?
Mom: (seriously sounding full) Ugh….
Me: Or, we have pretzels…
Mom: UGHH no they make my mouth dry!
Me: Okaaayyee… well what do you want?!
Mom: I guess… Just give me another tootsie pop…
(Keep in mind I have finally managed to arrange all of the items in the car wedged in and around my various body parts in order to become “comfortable.” Moving the GPS, two cell phones, a dayquil box, and two huge pillows off of my lap, I look down at the space for my leg room. I use the term “leg room” very loosely… The small space where my feet are currently residing is also home to Wendy’s bags full of giant salad containers, my huge gold purse, and an array of space-eating items, like my giant brontosaurus stuffed animal Monty. I rummage through the items. During this time the gps falls over [“RECALCULATING!”] the pillows somehow manage to smack me in the face, and one of the almost-empty Wendy’s salad containers pops open and drips dressing onto my hands. Finally, I triumphantly find the bag containing the snacks.)
Me: (Handing her a blue tootsie pop) Here.
Mom: Oh…
Me: What? It’s a tootsie pop. Here.
Mom: Um, I don’t like grape.
Me:
Mom: Can you get me a red one?
Me:
Mom: Please?! Come on, my eyes are closing and this is dangerous!!!

According to Patrick (the current ever-changing name of my GPS) we will be arriving at my sister’s apartment…( And I guess, MY apartment now, too!) at 10:19 p.m. We cannot drive fast enough.

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Monty likes granola bars.

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