A Conversation With My Body

Me: So… here we are again.
Body: Yep.
Me: At work.
Body: Yep.
Me: What is our life?
Body: I’ve been wondering that for a while now.
Me: Man. We’re a mess.
Body: Yeah. No thanks to you. I think I you owe me an apology.
Me: For what?
Body: Are you serious?
Me: I’m not that bad.
Body: Carolyn. Pasta is not acceptable for every meal.
Me: It is when you’re trying to save money.
Body: Then buy some apples or something!
Me: Help me, I’m poor.
Body: And you can’t expect me to do a 5 show day with less than 8 hours of sleep.
Me: Why not? We made it through finals week on like, 3 hours.
Body: Were you forcing me to dance in 103 degree heat during finals week?
Me:
Body: Exactly. I’m going to sleep.
Me: Hey! Wait! We have a show in literally 8 minutes, and you’re in a bra, tights, and spanks.
Body: So I’m sleeping for five, and then you’ll dress me in two.
Me: That BARELY gives me enough time to do anything!
Body: Well, you BARELY gave me enough time to wake up today! How about them apples?
Me: What is it with you and apples today?
Body: THEY ARE NUTRITIOUS AND ARE FULL OF VITAMINS AND HEALTHY STUFF THAT PASTA WILL NEVER GIVE US.
Me: Why are you yelling- HEY! Stop yawning. We have no time for that.
Body: Do more crunches, then.
Me: Nah… I’m tired.
Body: You are literally unbelievable.
Me: And it’s too hot.
Body: Yeah. I’ll give you that one. It’s really fricken hot.
Me: Totally hot.
Body: At least we’re not eating La Rosa’s pizza.
Me: Yeah. Or Panda Express.
Body: Listen. What do you say we go home, eat a well balanced meal, shower, and sleep tonight? Hm? A good 8 hours ought to do it!
Me: I was actually planning on eating pasta and being on Facebook until an indeterminable hour of the evening.
Body: You disgust me. I’m going to sleep.
Me: Hey! Hey no, we have a show to do in-
Body: ZzZzZzZzZzZz…
Me: