Supermodels who are unaware that they are posing with exotic animals make me mad.

18 Aug

I am a 21 year old…woman (?), girl (?), …human (?) who enjoys fashion as much as the next…girl. I am also a HUGE animal fan. And yet, when these two things that I love are brought together, I find myself no longer attracted to either. On the contrary, the following images are just a few examples of many fashion photos taken in our generation showcasing supermodels and exotic animals that make me simply say “…Really?”

**NOTE: Click on the pictures to enlarge them in a separate window so you can get the full effect of the models’ facial expressions.**

Exhibit A:

...Really?

Excuse me, Georgina Stojiljkovic (…really?), I’m not sure if anyone has informed you of this but… you are holding a sloth. Why do you look so sexually heightened? Do sloths make you feel excited, in that way? Or, perhaps, you don’t look “excited” at all, you simply look surprised. As if with that coy open-mouth of yours you’re saying, “Who, me? Holding a sloth to cover my boobies? No I’m not..?”Meanwhile the sloth is like, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. “Wanna make like my tree and leaf this place?” Seriously, look at his face! I think I like his expression more than hers. At least he’s acknowledging the fact that he’s clinging to a topless supermodel.

Exhibit B:

Don't be such a hip-ssssster.

But like…Really? I think these pictures wouldn’t bother me so much if the models’ faces actually matched what they were doing. Like, this girl looks so nonchalant about the whole holding-a-python-the-length-of-a-car thing. She’s like, “Sigh…. it’s just another Tuesday morning, wearing my drawstring basketball shorts, my flowy peasant top, and my python. Let’s go get some scones.” Newsflash, Kate Moss. That snake is as big around as you are. I suggest you stop being so hum-hum about this whole ordeal, and give the camera an expression that says, “SWEET SALAZAR, I AM LITERALLY WEARING A PYTHON!!!!!”

Exhibit C:

Mewowzers.

Oh, hey girl! Nice to see you on this dirt road in Africa today. Why do you look so scared/surprised? What’s that? You weren’t expecting to see anyone else on this road today? ESPECIALLY not when you were wearing your high waisted strapless bikini and heels while walking with three lionesses…? …Really?

Exhibit D:

Ignore this leopard.

“Why, hello there. We’ve been expecting you… welcome to my room made of padded pink walls and fluffy white cottony-cloud carpet. This is my leopard. And this is my leopard lingerie. Don’t ask why the right side of the room gets blurry, we don’t really know why, it’s always done that. Please, come in, and don’t mind the leopard.” Honestly, I think I prefer the “surprised, who-me?” look of Exhibit B.

Now, these next few pictures actually makes sense to me. These pictures are from a website that showcases “Hot Guys with Baby Animals.” There. Two tangible things (1. Hot guys. 2. Baby Animals) that I can understand. And at least these men are acknowledging the fact that they are, in fact, holding baby animals. Check it:

I am fully aware that I am holding an adorable pug, and I'm just as happy as he is.

It's okay. I'm the black sheep of my family, too.

I'm holding a baby duck, and you wish you were me. Or the duck. Either way, you're jealous.

There really isn’t an appropriate way to end this post, so here is a picture of two muscular guys holding bunnies.

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3 Responses to “Supermodels who are unaware that they are posing with exotic animals make me mad.”

  1. Chris August 22, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    HA! I seriously am in so much love with these. Please keep writing them. You’ve got at least one dedicated reader.

  2. Carolyn August 23, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

    Thanks, Chris. That means a lot haha you’re my first comment ever! wow. My blog is going to be viral any day now.

  3. Unicorn Kiddo December 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

    Ha I loved it all. Great job! I laughed alot 🙂

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